Monday, May 10, 2010

More Late Preseason Predictions: The Rest of the A.L.

The A.L. Central

Why do they call it the Central? Detroit, Cleveland, Chicago, Minnesota, Kansas City... these cities are in the Midwest. I've never called that area the "central" part of the United States, and I rarely refer to a region by its time-zone.

This is a division where I feel like there are teams that are good at winning and others that are good at losing. The Twins are somehow always better than you think they are, the Royals are pioneers of badness, the Indians ping-pong between these two and the other two do their best and hope it's good enough.

1. The Twins

Sometimes I wonder, but they are always better than you think they are. They will win baseball games.

2. The White Sox

Yeah, I dunno. Their lineup is less convincing than [insert something really unconvincing]. They can pitch enough to take second I suppose. I would catch the occasional Sox game on TV in Chicago. That Hawk guy is pretty unbearable. Give me Keith Hernandez criticizing the first baseman's footwork.

3. Hrmmm... let's go with the Tigers

These guys might actually be better than the White Sox. The thing is, they are also worse. It will depend on the day. It always depends on the day.

4. The Indians

I want them to win, but they won't win shit until they change that stupid logo. Listen here people of Cleveland. I will buy a piece of Cleveland Spiders merchandise. That's $20 you can't have now, but will have on that condition. I bet I'm not the only one. Do it. I'm sick of this bullshit.

5. The Royals

Joe Posnanski, Bill James, Rob Neyer, Rany Jazayerli... these are some of the finest names in baseball writing. All are associated with the Royals. JoePo is pretty much the only reason I can name a non-Greinke Royal. Also the only reason I care about their fortunes. I wouldn't be shocked at all if there was something about Kansas City, be it the water, the light, the energy, the attitude... something that produces brilliant writing and crappy baseball.

The A.L. West

Whooooosh. The west wind blows. Sail until you reach land. Then keep a friendly demeanor and a hand half a moment from your cutlass. Whoooooosh.

1. I want to put the Mariners in. They have the best 1-2 pitching punch... awesome D... sneachy Ichiro... everyone loves Fig Newmans...
Screw it, the La La Angels

It'll be tighter this year, but I'll give it to them until they give it away. They are still good, and Scocia is probably the best manager in the division. Maybe in the A.L. Godzilla's not dead either.

2. The Mariners

Even for this I hesitate, because the Rangers are good too. Still... Fig Newmans...

3. The Rangers

Blardy blar sning bang woop patowza. That's all I got.

4. The athletic gentlemen from the land of the oaks.

Bill Beane, ever intriguing. One of these days we will wake up and the A's will be shockingly good. Don't expect this day to come before 2013. Maybe he's just in it for the long count.

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